This post is almost 4 years in the making. In some ways it seems like just yesterday when I mentioned that “crazy” idea to Toby, in others ways in seems like it’s been a lifetime of waiting for the time to come when we get to share this story with those we love. Though no amount of waiting for us can compare to the anxious feeling that the other family must have been feeling the last couple years. I know they are surely anxious and excited for the next 3 months. April can’t come soon enough.
It all started with a conversation with a friend in January of 2012, she wanted to donate her eggs and since I had done this years ago she asked if I would check out the website of the company she was thinking about working with and let her know what I thought. Somehow, while searching the site, I ended up on an unexpected page. I started reading about this previously unknown process. Before I knew it I was Googling this topic and reading everything I could. I eventually got back on track to the egg donation question and emailed my friend that night with my thoughts on the company, and the week went on.
But this page I ended up on, this process, this idea kept popping into my head. I sat at home daydreaming about this idea while nursing our newborn Andie and caring for almost 2 year old Lilly. I thought about friends who had been through heartbreak and loss while trying to get pregnant and tried to imagine how I would feel if we had experienced those struggles. Meanwhile Toby worked the worst month of his career. We were under more stress than we probably ever had been and yet, a dream had begun brewing. Eventually I mentioned it to Toby, I believe he literally laughed out loud and said “Yeah right, there is NO WAY you could do that. That’s a crazy idea.” And the week went on.
More to come on what brought us here in a later post. For now, let’s fast forward to today: January 3rd 2016. Here I am, sitting on my couch on hopefully my last day of only a few days of bed rest. 25 weeks 2 days pregnant experiencing some Braxton hicks contractions every so often finally taking the much needed time and thought to write this. That’s right, you read it correctly, 25 weeks. I am 25 weeks pregnant. For those of you that didn’t know this, please don’t be hurt. You are not alone and the decision to keep this under wraps for some time was not one that was taken lightly. In fact this entire journey has had much thought, prayer and research going into it for years now. So even though this might seem new and possibly crazy to you it’s something that Toby and I are well educated on and something we feel is right for our family. It’s something that we are thrilled to be a part of and something that we believe will enrich and bless our lives and our children’s lives in an amazing way.
This pregnancy is very different than my pregnancies with the girls for countless reasons. Toby and I are not discussing names or preparing the girls for what it will be like to have a newborn in the house. We aren’t announcing and shouting it to the world (although sometimes I want to because it’s still so very exciting!) It’s just different, so very different this time around, and it should be, this baby that I get to carry for 9 months has no biological relation to Toby or I. He isn’t Lilly and Andie’s baby brother, and he isn’t coming home with us. He gets to go home with his amazing daddies that have entrusted me with his fragile little life the last 25 weeks. He gets to have a unique and different story about his journey into this world, but his story is just as special and amazing as any other baby, and we feel honored to be a part of it.
I feel honored to be a surrogate to this precious child. I cannot believe that after 4 years, 8-9 profiles, 4 matches with intended parents, 1 failed embryo transfer, hormonal highs and lows, and a lot of patience, praying and waiting we are finally here. We are just 14-15 weeks away from welcoming a baby boy into this world and helping to share in the joy and excitement his parents will have as they meet and hold their son for the first time. That moment my friends, that is the moment we have sought out for all this time. The moment that we get to not only witness, but help create. The moment when this newborn baby arrives and I get the incredible honor of placing him in the arms of his loving parents, safe, protected and wrapped up in more love than he could ever dream of.
That moment will be one of the most life changing moments of our lives and the lives of the family awaiting his arrival, and there is so much more of this story to share. So we invite you to follow this blog, this journey we are on and learn more about why we decided to do this. We invite you to open your eyes and heart to the amazing world of surrogacy and our small part of it.