it's taken me a bit longer to get this post up as i've been working on revamping this site as well (the original one and I were not seeing eye to eye.) thanks to those of you who have been awaiting another post and your patience with me. i swear i will get better as time goes on, but i'll be honest, it's likely this site will be a work in progress, just as it's writer is. here we go!
28 weeks already. wow! what a ride it has been thus far. this last week was full of excitement. a day trip to olympia to visit with one of my best girlfriends, a couple days at home with a sick toddler allowed me to catch up on cleaning and laundry just in time to spend a weekend with friends and family. we played games, visited and focused on our girls with a fun day in seattle. we got to spend time with family we don't see often enough and then we ended the weekend visiting A&B at their home near seattle. we got to see the nursery for this baby boy i am carrying, visit his daddies in their beautiful home and spend a day visiting, laughing and talking about the much anticipated excitement to come. they also introduced us to this amazing greek yogurt that i think i could live on. delish! ellenos has a new customer for life.
i had the joyful (enter sarcasm here) experience this week of drinking 10 ounces of a syrupy lemon lime drink for the standard glucose tolerance test. i've done this test 3 times and for the record, lemon lime glucose drink is the worst one i've had so far. fruit punch was pretty awful, orange was tolerable and tasted like flat orange soda, but lemon lime brought back a queasy and sick-to-my-stomach feeling i haven't had for months. yuck! one of the nurses at my midwifes office told me she heard that the coke flavor is even worse, and as awful as those 10 ounces were, i am so relieved that i didn't have to drink a coke flavored one. i still think that my midwife's office should have given me two more bottles for A&B to try. they lucked out. and i was so thrilled to pass that test knowing i won't have to drink anymore of that crap until the next pregnancy. (no plans people, chill out! but i'm not ruling it out entirely yet.)
so to sum up 28 weeks, it's been pretty great.
i am sure everyone is anxious to hear more about the process of becoming a surrogate and our decision to begin this journey, so let's continue that conversation here. it really was a fluke thing that started this story. i had never thought about surrogacy or the idea of carrying a child for someone else until about 4 years ago. this wasn't a lifelong dream or idea i had growing up by any means. what i have always had was the desire to help those around me find happiness in every way that i possibly can.
i've always wanted to please people, to make them happy and most importantly, i want my loved ones to feel loved and appreciated by me. i don't want them to ever think i take them for granted, even though at times i am sure i do just that. i strive to be there for my friends and family so when i stumbled upon a "surrogacy" page on a website and began reading about how surrogates can help infertile couples fulfill their dream of having a child i immediately related that to friends and family that i already knew who had a history of infertility, miscarriage and other unexplained trouble in conceiving. my first thought "i can't imagine not having my daughters, what would toby and i have done if we had experienced infertility? knowing lilly and andie now, i cannot fathom the idea of not having them in our lives." my second thought "i would do that for my friend, my brother and sister in law, someone i loved. without a doubt. i could totally do that." but i knew how crazy of an idea that would have sounded like to toby, to my friends, to a lot of people probably, so i didn't mention it at first. and the week went on.
the week went on, but not without this almost constant idea in the back of my head. this idea of carrying a child for another family, of actually giving birth and being able to witness new parents seeing their long awaited baby for the first time. i kept "googling" surrogacy and reading stories of surrogates and intended parents journeys. it was inspirational, touching, really moving and eye opening. there was this great big world of women out there who have carried children for others. i was intrigued and i couldn't stop wondering if i would be a good candidate.
so i eventually brought it up to toby. he pretty much laughed it off and told me there was no way i could ever do that. the idea kept popping up in my mind though; when i talked to my girlfriends, when i played with the kids, when i was driving, sleeping, hanging out with family, basically all the time. so i brought it up again to my amazing husband, but this time with more information. i explained that i couldn't stop thinking about this, how i know that if my sister in law or best friend couldn't carry a baby for some reason that i would want to help them have a child. i think by now he realized i was being serious and he listened, he asked questions, he agreed to some of the points i was bringing up. he still thought i was crazy and that it may not be something that i could do, but he was interested now as well and willing to discuss it further.
we both thought long and hard those next few weeks as we discussed this in the comfort of our home, doing research and reading more, mostly before bed. i casually mentioned the idea to a few friends during this time who quickly had reactions similar to the one i got from toby the first time i mentioned it to him. they thought i was crazy. and to this day, i think some of them still do. that's ok though. this is our journey with A&B, no one has to understand, at least not in the way we do, i don't expect that from anyone.
a couple months after first reading about surrogacy on that website toby and i felt that we both were in a place where we wanted to learn more. i found a local agency in portland that seemed to have a good reputation and a clean, organized and well informed website. they even had a simple intake form i could fill out right on their website to see if i met the basic criteria. when i say basic, i mean very basic. becoming a surrogate is a very extensive process, and even though i thought i met all the initial requirements, i had no idea what i was in for. social worker home visits, psychological evaluations, medical screening, and much more would be coming into play at some point. but for the time being, there was this simple intake form. i filled it out, hit "submit" and the week went on.