31 Weeks

holy sciatic pain! 

well that was fun. enter sarcasm, because by fun, i mean awful, down right, could barely walk at times, made me cry awful. i experienced this same pain when i was pregnant with our daughters. with lilly, it was the last 3-4 weeks of the pregnancy and with andie it was only the last week or so. i am 31 weeks. and was only 29 1/2 when this started. there was no way i could deal with that kind of pain for another 10 weeks until this little guy makes his arrival. but what could I do? 

i was determined. determined to keep working. to keep moving. to keep things the same. yeah....that didn't work out so well. i worked my 40 hours last week, dragged the girls to multiple chiropractor appointments and put them to bed early so i could take Epsom salt baths, have time to stretch and exercise, and get a massage one night in hopes of getting out of the pain i was in, but it all wiped me out. 

i was stressed and anxious and emotional. i was still in pain, although it was under control after a week of treatment. and i was overwhelmed with the thought of dealing with that pain for 10 more weeks. when i saw my midwife for my 30 week appointment and told her what was going on she just about told me i had to stop working entirely. luckily after telling her about the treatments i received and discussing other options with her she suggested cutting back to 20 hours a week and with my persistence she met me at 30 hours as long as i was staying out of too much pain. dropping down to 30 hours a week has allowed me time to see the chiropractor and massage therapist regularly without having to take my young daughters with me to appointments. my husband works late during the week and often isn't home until after 7:00 so scheduling appointments for when he is home just isn't an option. the reduced schedule was the only way we felt like i could really take care of myself the way i needed to. 

i had to contact the surrogacy agency, my HR department, my manager, and of course the daddies of this little guy and explain what was going on and what my midwife was suggesting. it's stressful to miss work, to change my routine and to think about trying to get my job done in less than 30 hours a week, but i knew that my health and the health and well being of this child were a priority. i figured out what i needed to do with HR and all the logistics that had to be worked out with the agency as well, and the fathers were more than understanding during all of this. i feel blessed to be working with an agency and parents who are so compassionate. 

and so here i am, working 30 hours a week, seeing the chiropractor regularly and getting almost weekly massages to stay comfortable. and so far it's working. i am not where i was a month ago, or feeling like i can go for long walks with the girls on sunny days like i usually do, but i am not in constant or horrible pain, and i'll take that. i know that this is part of pregnancy. maybe not for everyone, but it's part of this pregnancy for me and i knew the risks of these kinds of things when i signed up to do this. it's not the fun part of this journey, it's not the easy part, but it's worth it. even if i ended up in constant pain for 10 weeks and on full bed rest i would tell you the same thing. all of these obstacles, challenges and inconveniences are well worth it for what we are trying to achieve; the birth of a full term and healthy baby boy whose parents have been anxiously awaiting his arrival. 

this journey was never meant to be easy. i never expected it to be.

this journey was meant to be rewarding for our family, life changing for the baby's family, and humbling for all of us.